SHE PROPOSED TO ME

SHOULD A WOMAN PROPOSE TO A MAN?

Proposal is an act of putting forward or stating something for consideration-a proposed idea or plan of action, a suggestion, an application or an offer for marriage. There is verbal and non-verbal proposal.

At "Liberty Expression" seminar where this topic was discussed, we had in attendance at least 4 visiting pastors and a host of Christians. The topic was to set at liberty women who one way or the other had seen their would be husbands but remained unmarried for years because the man would not take notice of them or propose.

OBSERVATIONS

1. Though the topic's main target was women, there was more men than there was women at the programme.

2. It could be scriptural but our society frowns at it; women who propose to men could be seen as loose women.

3. A pastor observed that the topic was not scriptural.

A LOOK AT THE OBSERVATIONS.

1. There are always more men at relationship/marriage seminars than women because they(Women) speak more about getting married yet are either not prepared or are afraid of what marriage life holds for them.

2. As Christians, the society or our cultural norms must not take precedence over scriptural revealations. We must be led by the Spirit of God rather than by our fears or traditional belief system.

3. It was unscriptural to the pastor because we know in part and we prophesy in part. A study of jewish culture/levetical laws upon which the law of kinsman redemption and marriage between Ruth and Boaz was made established the scriptural basis of Ruth's proposal(Ruth3:8-9).

In Nigeria, there are different culturally accepted ways or acts of marriage proposal making depending on the part of the country. There is a particular culture where a man had to put a bead necklace on the prospective wife, if the woman accepts it, then the man's marriage proposal is accepted or vice versa. This is a non-verbal(action based) proposal.

In Israel, spreading the skirt over a woman was a symbol of taking her under one's protection and entering into marriage with her. A man wanting to say "marry me" to a woman does so without words by covering the woman with his skirt. However, in Ruth's case, she requested to be covered by Boaz's skirt, in other words she asked Boaz to marry her(Ruth3:9). Also read Eze.16:8, Rom.7:4; this was the way God married Israel. This is the only way the Church is now married to Christ.

CHARACTERISTICS OF WOMEN WHO CAN MAKE THIS MOVE

1. A friendly disposition is helpful(Prov.18:24, Ruth1:16)

2. A woman of conviction and stability(Jam1:6-8, Ruth1:10,18).

3. Must choose God over marriage opportunities(Ruth1:16, Deut.30:15-16, Josh.24:15)

4. Must be Hardworking; a virtuous woman(Ruth2:2, 3:11, Prov.31:10-31).

5. Must build upon the word of God(Ruth2:1-2, Deut.25:5)

6. Must build upon the experience of others(Ruth3:1-6,18, Ecc4:9)

7. Must employ your gifts and talents(Prov.18:16), you will find your husband while employing your gifts and talents to God's glory.

8. Must seize the opportunity being mindful of timing(Ruth2:22, 3:7)

9. Must learn to wait patiently on God for all things to work together for your good.

ACCEPTABLE DELIVERY OF MESSAGE

A. If you found the man, you must understand him(Ruth2:20)

B. Learn the most honourable way to approach the man(Prov.18:24)

C. Be presentable always and before the man, your carriage is very important because marriage is a honourable institution(Ruth3:3)

D. Deliver the message as led by the Spirit of God(Ruth3:3-9)

Do you have faith enough to possess your possession? Now is the time for you to end that waiting. If God has shown or led you to your husband as He did for Ruth, it is time to do something about it. If you do not take a step, the man may as well end up as someone else husband.

There was a true life story of a sister and a brother who were friends and prayer partners in the same Church. God told the man that the sister was to be his wife and also told the sister. The brother could not propose because people(society) would say he took undue advantage of her knowledge of the sister's need for husband. The sister could not propose because it was a taboo in her society for a woman to propose to a man. The sister later got married and the brother now convinced it was not the voice of God he heard also got married to another sister.

After their marriages, and whenever they met in their own Church camp meetings, satan would remind the man that the sister now married was his wife and so did satan remind the woman also. They were each having so much problems in their marriages that the man sought counsel from his pastor.

From the pastor's counsel, the man confessed to the sister what he has been going through because of his failure to propose to her and interestingly the sister also confessed her ordeals too. Together, they sought forgiveness from God and He delivered them from the buffeting of satan.

Remember, because of Ruth's faith, obedience and boldness, she got married and more importantly as a stranger from Moab entered the lineage of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ(Matt.1:1-5)